Tobias's Christmas
by Mimi-dudette
Summary: The Animorphs try to take a break from fighting to Celebrate Christmas But Tobias is finding it hard to celebrate when the Hawk becomes over-powering and boy is isolated. Two-shot, First time writing Animorphs, Please read and reveiw! Tobias / Rachel
1. Chapter 1

Yeah, I totally suck at titles, XD

I'm having a total mental block on my other story so I decided to start this two-shot to get those creative juices flowing again. It's my first time writing Animorphs so I hope it's OK! Please R and R!

Disclaimer: I own diddly squat. .

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**Tobias**

My name is Tobias.

If you ask a casual birdwatcher, they'd explain that I'm a red-tailed hawk, or Buteo jamaicensis.

If you ask Rachel, she'd insist I'm a human.

If you ask Ax, he'd inform you that I'm a _northit_.

Or, if by some strange Ellimist-like power, you managed to talk to Elfangor the Andalite war prince, he'd say that I'm his only son.

I just stick with 'freak of nature'.

And you thought _you_ had problems.

I spread my wings wide, trying to catch any evening thermals but pretty much failing. _Stupid dead air… _I sulked, though to be honest, the air was anything but dead.

The wind whipped around me, trying to shove me in the opposite direction one second, then down to the ground the next. The air was full of heavy moisture and low lying clouds slightly impaired my laser-sharp vision. I swear I even heard thunder boom from the direction of the mountains.

All in all, it was a day that would send any normal hawk scuttling back to their tree.

But, as I may have mentioned, I'm not a normal hawk.

Did I mention I'm also trying to stop an alien invasion?

Go figure.

I tried to ignore my starving belly as I flapped and struggled my way to Cassie's barn to meet the other Animorphs; Prey had been non-existent today as warnings in the air of the storm had come early enough to keep half my food hiding; the other half was hibernating. Then again, I hadn't eaten the day before, or even the day before that. I could ask one of my friends for some food, as any of them would be happy to oblige, but one thing held me back; pride.

I'm a hawk.

Hawks don't need help.

And no-one come back at me with '_but you said you're not a normal hawk'_.

When it comes to everyday food, the hawk comes first.

Five minutes later, after almost falling out of the sky because of a sudden gust of wind, I soared in though the rafters and into Cassie's barn. The other Animorphs were chatting idly below me while Cassie soothed a duck with a broken wing.

_Hi_. I spoke in thought-speak.

Rachel looked up and flashed me her beautiful smile.

Marco was less welcoming.

"Where you been, Bird-Boy?" He demanded. "Having an evening snack?"

I wish.

"Shut it, Marco!" Rachel instantly leaped to my defence; I would have smiled if I could. "You only arrived five minutes ago; you're hardly one to lecture about being late!"

"Late. Ate. Lay-tuh" Ax mimicked, enjoying his human morph. "Tuh-tuh-tuh!" He said happily, making Marco roll his eyes dramatically.

Jake sighed.

"It's not like this is one of those do-or-die meetings anyway." He admitted, looking up at me. "After our last mission, the Yeerks have been pretty quiet."

"Perfect time to surprise them." Rachel flashed her devil-may-care grin. "I say we attack and-"

"Actually," Cassie interrupted, staring at Jake. "Jake had something else to say."

Jake smiled and scratched the back of his head. "I was getting to that." He insisted. "I-"

"You're getting married to Cassie!" Marco gushed, in mock joy. "I bagsy Maid of honour!"

Jake and Cassie blushed furiously while Rachel whacked Marco round the head. Marco grinned and stuck his tongue out. Ax looked confused.

"Hah!" Ax suddenly yelled eyes wide. "Hah-hah! Hah!"

They all stared.

"Ax…." Rachel raised an eyebrow. "Never… EVER…. Do that again."

I watched as they all laughed again.

Suddenly… suddenly I wished I was down there with them. Human. Able to mess around and laugh out loud. Able to be with them as a human without watching that deadly time limit.

It's called irony, I think.

_So, what were you going to say, Jake?_ I asked, if for no reason than to distract me from my self-pitying thoughts; If I started self-pity, it would be hard to stop.

Cassie sent me a strange look; sometimes, I swear she can read minds.

"Well, Cassie and I thought that we should lay low over the Christmas week, I mean we send the rest of the year fighting and lying." He paused to glance at Cassie; it wasn't hard to guess who had prompted this decision. "It would be good for us to take the week off, unless something serious comes up."

"In which case we'll kick butt." Rachel grinned, causing a sigh from Cassie.

"What is this Christmas?" Ax wondered. "Mas." He added for good measure.

"A celebration where you spend time with family and-"

"You get presents!" Marco of course.

I wasn't really listening any more. Christmas? How soon? I hadn't even known. But then again what would I do now I did know? Back when I was with my uncle, this was just a season for him to get drunk.

I realised that everyone was still talking.

"-It's not just presents."

"Yeah it is! Especially when I'm getting a new bike!"

"I thought you said you were getting a new computer."

"You're buying me a computer? Too kind, Jake, too kind."

"In your dreams."

"Do you have cinnamon buns on Christmas? Mas. Massssss."

"I'm sure we can find you one."

"Hey Jake, What you getting Cassie?"

"Tobias?"

I tilted my head to look at Rachel.

_Yeah?_

"You Okay?"

Okay?

_Course I Am. _I lied.

"So…" Rachel glanced at Cassie who suddenly launched into a conversation with the others about Christmas dinners. "Were you thinking of doing anything for Christmas?" she continued, quietly.

I scolded my Hawk instincts for noticing a mouse running along the back of the barn. I couldn't exactly pounce on it in the middle of a meeting…

No.

Now was seriously not the time.

_I don't know…_ I addressed Rachel. _I might watch some corny Christmas shows on Ax's TV._ I let out a dry laugh. _That was all I used to do anyway._

She sent me a look I had seen directed at me way too often. A mix of pity and worry.

I hated that look.

I didn't need pity.

I was fine.

Who cared about Christmas?

Just another day.

I was fine.

Honestly.

**Rachel**

Tobias was obviously _not _fine.

I may not be Cassie, but I really _like _Tobias, and I can tell when something's wrong. He already worried me to death, living out in the forest with animals whose first instincts were to kill him.

He doesn't show it often, but I know there are times when he really misses being able to human things; I once went into my room to find all my maths homework done with doodles of birds and things covering the margins (It wasn't all correct but it's the thought that counts and I argued for ten minutes with the teacher about getting rid of the doodles in my book. I got to keep them in the end.).

Then again, sometimes, he really enjoys being a hawk. You can tell his _northit _state has given him freedom his human self never had. I really hate his relatives for giving him the pitiful childhood he'd had; one that a felt the need to fly away from.

It wasn't fair.

Oh, I hated them…

I knew his Uncle didn't live far from here but Tobias would never tell me exactly where.

I wonder why.

Sighing inwardly, I sat on a bundle of hay by Jake and raised my arm, smiling up at you-know-who. In a flash of rust-coloured feathers, Tobias swooped down and landed on my arm, trying not to hold on too hard. I kept my arm steady and stroked his chest feathers with my finger; it was the closest we could get to hugging or holding hands when he was in hawk form.

Sad?

Oh, yeah.

"I've got to get home." Jake said, suddenly. "It's a big match tonight, No way am I aloud to miss it."

"Too right." Marco agreed.

"Boys…" I muttered, shaking my head.

_Yo, Ax-man? Are you taping the match on your TV?_ Tobias asked, teasing me.

"Of course!" Ax answered enthusiastically. "By simply connecting a few wires I am able to tape all the channels at once and-"

_Yeah, I know Ax-man. You showed me._

"Did I show you my collection of my favourite 'These Messages'?"

_Several times._

"Oh."

"Well, that sounds fun." Marco said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "Remind me to bring popcorn."

"I'll walk you down to the bus stop." Cassie offered, grabbing a coat from next to the huge barn door. "It's not raining."

_It's about to…_

Cassie ignored him.

Ax suddenly turned to Tobias, while the others grabbed their stuff. "Tobias, am I clear to-?"

He didn't need to finish. This was Tobias's sort of role in our meetings. I held my arm away from my face as he took off, landing in the rafters and cocking his head to the side as to get a better look outside.

_All clear._ He reported.

Instantly Ax began to demorph.

Morphing is very weird.

First, blue fur spread over his body and his spine stretched. Two legs burst from his chest and his body shifted around to make room. His mouth dissolved as his tail appeared, growing choppily from the base of his spine.

"It's just a sign of how weird our lives are," Marco commented, eyeing the twin stalks that shot from Ax's head. "That none of us are running and screaming right now."

I actually found myself agreeing with him.

Marco couldn't resist one last crack as we walked through the barn door, leaving Ax to morph bird.

"I know what to get Tobias for Christmas!" He announced, grinning at his own wit. "A sugar mouse!"

Tobias must have heard because the next second we all heard a voice in our heads; _Hey Ax, I know what to get Marco for Christmas; a real mouse!_

Even Marco laughed at that.

"Sorry Marco," Jake smirked, "That round goes to Tobias."

Marco said something in reply but I wasn't listening anymore.

I hooked my arm through Cassie's, which is best-friend-not-really-saying-anything-but-still-meaning-something speech for; I want to talk.

**Cassie**

I cast a questioning look at Rachel then instantly began to slow down. Jake glanced back at us but just carried on with Marco, probably assuming we were just having a girl-to-girl-best-friend-no-boys-aloud kind of chat.

He's cool like that.

"What's up?" I asked.

Rachel looked round, searched the sky for a moment then smiled at me. "I want to give… Ax and Tobias a Christmas party."

Oh sure.

_Ax _and Tobias.

Still, it was a nice idea.

I was sort of thinking of the same thing, but it felt better making out that only Rachel had thought of it.

"We could surprise them in Ax's scoop! Tobias visits him all the time!"

"You really think we could actually _surprise _them?"

"Spoil sport."

I smiled.

"No, I think it's a great idea, we could all swap presents then too." I laughed when Rachel's eyes gleamed - honestly, if you get an idea in that girl's head, you'll never hear the end of it. "When should we do it? Tomorrow?"

"I was thinking….. Christmas Eve. That way it would be more… Christmassy."

"You really are the master of explaining things, Rachel."

"What can I say? It's a gift."

We jogged forward a bit, still linking arms, to catch up with Jake and Marco; we both suddenly felt quite proud of ourselves.

"We're having a party." I said, threading my arm through a surprised Jake's.

"What?" He asked blankly.

"We're going to surprise Ax and Tobias in Ax's scoop and have an Animorphs-only Christmas party." Rachel announced, explaining her big plan.

Before Jake could respond, Marco looked at us and snorted.

"Oooh, let me link up too!" He simpered. "Then we can all skip along and sing 'down the yellow brick road'."

"You're hilarious." Rachel sneered, de-linking to search the contents of her side bag, which obviously looked great on her.

Jake and I realised we were the only ones still linked and quickly dropped our arms, swapping a shy smile.

Marco groaned.

**Jake**

The next day was stormy.

As in a hale-wind-and-rain-oh-my-god-we're-all-going-to-die-stay-inside-and-hide type of storm.

Not exactly Christmas weather.

I stomped around my room, grabbing the warmest water-proof I had. Like an idiot, I had left some of my Christmas shopping until the last moment, and I hadn't had the sense to give the mall a quick visit yesterday; what can I say? The big match was on.

Stuffing a sweater over my head, I felt round for my wallet.

Wallet, wallet, wallet….

There it is!

I took a ten out, then remembered I said I would buy food for tomorrow and grabbed all the rest, stuffing it all in my pocket.

Strangely, I didn't feel bad about using all my allowance; probably because I was buying normal things, not ten pairs of shoes because I couldn't morph my trainers and had to leave them on a spaceship.

I have a weird life.

Zipping up my water-proof, I marched downstairs; I was sure I've gained a tonne, just because of all this extra padding.

Tom was just coming out of the kitchen and laughed his head off when he saw me.

Stupid Yeerk.

"What are you doing?" His snorted, putting on the old big brother act. "Playing soldier?"

"Worse." I grumbled, listening to rain pound against the roof, using it as a distraction to the fact I was wasn't talking to Tom; I was talking to a Yeerk who kept him in a state worse than death. "I'm going outside."

He raised an eyebrow.

"O-o-okay… Can I ask why?"

"No reason." I said acting innocent as I tried to squeeze past him.

"Oh I get it." He grinned, having forced the conclusion out of my brother's mind. "_Someone _left Cassie's present to the last minute."

I forced myself to smirk at him. "Oh shut up." I said, aiming a fake blow at his head as I got past.

He batted my hand away then shook his head, looking amused.

Stupid Yeerk.

Trouble was; he was annoyingly right.

I had no idea what to get Cassie, which is why I left it so late. I mean, what do girls like? Rachel had been easy. But what do I get Cassie?

Half a minute later, I was riding my bike to the closest store and already drenched to the bone, wind and cold making my ears sore.

_Watch out world,_ I thought dully, _here comes the fearless leader, braving the storm because he doesn't know what to get his girlfriend for Christmas…_

I suddenly felt a little better, thinking of Cassie as my girlfriend.

Just then, as I was passing the entrance to a small park, something caught my eye. I paused, squinting through the rain.

A short way into the park, staggering out of a close knit orchard… Tobias?

I stepped off my bike, surprised.

I could definitely make out a teenage boy, dressed in black skin tight clothes with hair which looked like a bird's nest (no pun intended…). He was definitely staggering, looking around; I couldn't read his expression.

Suddenly he slumped against a tree, breathing heavily.

"Tobias!" I yelled, waving an arm. "Hey, Tobias! Over here!"

He instantly reacted, jerking his head in a very bird-like movement.

It was Tobias, all right.

But then… he was gone, he simply jumped out of my vision.

Concerned, I dropped my bike and jogged forward until I reached the edge of the trees.

"Tobias? Dude, you there?"

He was gone.

What was all _that _about?

I scanned the trees, called his name once more, and then gave up, trudging back to the street.

I wondered what Tobias had been doing. I worried about him; we all did, even though he seems happy enough living as a hawk. None of us knew exactly what it was like for him; I knew that his situation sometimes was too much for handle, like when he made his first kill. He had retreated, letting the hawk mind take over because he was so horrified at what he'd done.

Groaning, I picked up my bike which had fallen into a deep muddle puddle.

_Typical. _I thought, pulling a face.

The wind let up a little as I carried on, thinking what to get Cassie and deciding I would pick up a cinnamon bun for Ax.

And, hawk or no hawk, I would get Tobias something too.

I reckoned he deserved it.

**Tobias**

The storm blew fiercely at me, threatening to rip me from my perch on my tree. I glared down at the sodden ground, sheltering from most of the rain. I had been sitting there for hours.

I should be bored.

But I couldn't waver.

I hadn't eaten for days and days, and, though I had been sorely tempted to just fly off and find some fresh road-kill, I kept staring at my meadow; I refused to eat road-kill again, after…

_Focus, _the hawk scolded.

The hunger was starting to affect me, clamping round by belly like an iron maiden. I had missed a kill just this morning and felt all the more frustrated by it.

I hadn't seen anyone since the meeting.

I felt a little uncomfortable, imagining my friend's faces. Maybe I could ask one of them for some food… The idea was depressing and pathetic, going up to one of my friend's houses and practically begging for food. But I could die out here…

Before I knew it, I had launched from my tree, hurtling into the storm.

So weak…

I couldn't go to Rachel. I just couldn't. Maybe Jake? He had always looked out for me before and probably wouldn't think any less of me…

Probably…

Maybe I should scrap the whole idea, just stay glaring at my patch of field or try and find some money and simply buy a burger or something.

God, I felt so hungry that I hadn't totally crossed out grabbing whatever I saw…

What was I thinking? My mind was foggy, pitiful human emotions clashing with over-powering hawk hunger.

I circled over a clump of trees by Jake's then landed, morphing human. I needed to clear my mind…

Maybe asking Jake wasn't such a bad idea.

Forgetting how stupid I looked in just my morphing outfit, I stumbled out of the trees, blinking my dim human eyes. I scanned the area, as though I expected someone to jump out.

Suddenly, I realised how weak I felt and how choppily my chest was rising and falling. I leant against a tree.

Sometimes, everything was just too much.

"Tobias! Hey Tobias! Over here!"

I jumped out of my skin, jerking my head up.

Jake? What was Jake doing here? I did the first thing that came into my head, and ran back into the shadow of the trees, shaking.

I glanced up and made out Jake through the rain, jogging over.

I made my decision.

I forced my body to run.

What was I thinking? Asking him for food? Pathetic! Letting him see me like this? Not likely.

"Tobias? Dude, you there?" His voice floated over to me but I ignored it, already morphing.

My legs thinned and I ducked behind a dead log before they collapsed beneath me.

Too much.

_Help me hawk._

As I grew more and more hawk, the hawk's mind fully came back, over-powering.

"Tobias!"

Who was that?

Jake?

Who cared about Jake?

Who cared about Christmas?

I was a hawk.

Built to be alone.

**Ax**

I was feeling a bit lonely.

Walking back to my scoop, I relished the last few steps of frozen crushed grass and pondered whether I should go to visit my human friends, perhaps at Cassie's barn. But, it was that strange holiday called Christmas, and I wasn't sure if I would be allowed. Today was the day before, what Prince Jake called 'Christmas Eve'.

Sigh.

I do not get this season and the 'Boxing day' seems totally irrelevant. However, I did understand that it is a time when humans gather with family members.

That got me thinking of my own family, light-years away, and I blocked out the thought, using my stalk-eyes to search the sky for Tobias.

I had not seen my best friend for a while.

I suddenly remembered that in human terms, Tobias was my nephew and, though that relationship is not as important in my home as here, he still counted as family.

Maybe he would like to share Christmas with me.

Somewhat cheered up, I galloped home, wondering whether I was missing any good 'These messages'.

Then…

I slowed, focusing all of my eyes on my scoop, just a while away…

Movement…

Yes! There it was again! Someone was in my scoop!

I felt surprised, as I had not seen any humans this anywhere deep in the forest before, and suspicious; if it was a yeerk…

I moved forwards, stepping lightly and searching the surrounding area for any hint of anything else.

It was strange, because everywhere else seemed totally unguarded.

If it was a Yeerk trap, it wasn't a very good one.

Keeping my tail at the ready, I galloped the last leg and landed right in front of the intruders, keeping my tail blade at the throat of…

_Marco?_

"Hi Ax…" He muttered, eyeing my blade which I quickly withdrew. "Surprise?"

_I am sorry, Marco._ I said, noticing the others squatting beside him. _What are you doing?_

"We were hiding unnoticed, thinking about how much we ruled, until you came and spotted us straight away." Marco said.

"Told you we should have morphed." Cassie said, standing up and stretching. "I've got a dead leg from sitting here."

_I am confused._

Well, I was.

"We were going to surprise you and Tobias and have a Christmas party," Prince Jake explained, standing up and laughing. "I guess we couldn't quite get the 'surprise' part."

_I see…_ I didn't. _Then, is Tobias here?_

"No." Rachel was now the only one still sitting; I believe her tone was annoyance. "We thought he'd be here."

_I have not seen him since the meeting._

There was a few seconds of silence.

"I'm sure he's okay." Cassie said, though I wasn't sure who she was speaking to.

Prince Jake had a strange expression on his face; as though he wanted to talk but wasn't sure what to say.

_Are you okay, Prince Jake?_

"What?" He looked and me. "Yeah… yeah, I'm fine. Oh, and Ax? Don't call me prince."

_Yes Prince Jake._

He laughed, and then reached behind him for a bulging plastic bag. "Guess what's in this Ax?"

_Cinnamon buns?!_

Marco grabbed the bag and held it out of my reach. "You bet, Ax." He grinned. "Cinnamon Buns and Nachos and jelly babies and chocolate…"

_Brown globules?!_

Suddenly, this party seemed like a very good idea.

Rachel walked over to the entrance and looked around, frowning.

I was quickly morphing human, trying to reach for the goodie bag and not fall at the same time. Marco held it out to me then quickly moved it as I reached for it.

"Don't be mean, Marco!" Cassie laughed, grabbing the bag from behind him as Prince Jake steadied me; Morphing from four legs to only two is shaky work. "The food's for everyone."

Half an earth hour later, I was squirting cheese all over my nachos after Cassie said I couldn't eat _all _the cinnamon buns right now.

Marco was singing and dancing badly to a song while everyone else clapped and laughed; Prince Jake told me it was called 'Karaoke'.

"Like a tiger, defying the laws of gravity-y-y-y!!" Marco screamed, spinning around.

"You can't dance or sing," Rachel observed, "Talk about showbiz."

"Come and sing too Rachel!" Marco smirked. "Unless your sca-a-a-ared, Xena!" He happily dodged a pebble Rachel through at him then began screaming into a hairbrush again. "I'm burning through the sky, YEAH!"

I dipped a hand into the cheese-covered nachos and spooned them into my human mouth.

Such taste!

Salt and grease and… CHEESE!!

"Salt and grease-suh!" I shouted happily, grabbing another handful. "And, cheeeeeeeeeessssse-suh!"

Jake and Cassie ignored my outburst of cheesy pleasure, too occupied by the fact Macro had started chasing them with a small plant with white berries on.

Strange.

Rachel however, sent me a stony look.

"Save some for Tobias." She said blankly, before turning away.

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Please reveiw! I'd love to know how you think it's going, and if you have any comments or ideas please reveiw!

Love you all! XD Part two coming soon.


	2. Chapter 2

**The next Part is up! Yey! :D**

**Big thank-you to everyone who reviewed, especially Mia who proof read this! Yey her!**

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**Marco**

My name is Marco. Just Marco. I'm just so famous these days; I don't need a second name.

Nah, only kidding.

Although I have got tonnes of star potential, the no second name routine is more of a bid to stay alive than a burst of super-star cockiness. See, my friends and I have a load of mind-controlling parasites after us.

Long story.

Course, right now, none of the killer slugs from space thing was supposed to matter because Rachel had this genius idea that we should forget that for the moment throw Ax (our resident alien) and Tobias (our resident bird-boy) a Christmas party.

With only one tiny-winy, ity-bity flaw.

Tobias didn't come.

Rachel sulked for most of the party and snapped at everyone before flying off as a bald eagle to try and find him. Twenty minutes later, she returned and grumbled that she saw a red-tailed hawk but it wasn't him.

Yeah, Rachel did _all _that before she relaxed and finally got into the party.

And even then she wouldn't sing karaoke with me.

"You're such a party pooper!" I said, poking her with the hairbrush.

She looked up from decorating a mini tree for Ax with Cassie. "Why don't you go and find a cat to sing with? You'll both sound the same if you step on its tail."

"That hurt, Xena," I laughed, too hyped-up to throw an insult back.

You know when you're at a party and you feel like you've just swallowed tonne of sugar and you feel as high as a kite?

Even when you _haven't _swallowed that much sugar?

That was me right now.

Everyone else had started chilling but not Marco the brilliant and fantastic!

And cute, don't forget cute.

"It's getting late." Jake said, looking up from the telly. "I promised my folks I'd be home an hour ago."

"Same here." Cassie laughed, finishing the tree with a flourish.

What? Go home? No way!

Ok, so maybe I was supposed to be home a while ago too, but it was a party!

"Wait," I moaned, "I haven't caught Jake and Cassie under the mistletoe yet!"

"Yep, defiantly time go, coming Cassie?"

"Well it is getting _very _late. Bye Ax!"

I smirked at them as they tried to make a hasty exit.

"Not so fast!" I yelled, grabbing my coat and a lump of mistletoe as I started chasing the two love-birds.

Just then I turned, and noticed Rachel taking a stupidly long time collecting her stuff and making sure to say a proper good-bye to Ax.

Very un-Rachel-like.

"Hurry up, Xena." I shouted back. "You're going to miss the Christmas magic!"

She raised her eyebrows at me.

"You hurry up or you won't catch them. Your short legs need all the head start they can get."

"Low, Rachel, even for you."

"Oh, go away." she sighed. "I'm making my own way back, got a problem?"

"Oh no, no problem at all, oh Xena warrior princess." I said sarcastically, smirking again and bending in a mock bow. "How could I possibly question you?"

She gave me one of her infamous move-or-die looks.

Hmm.

Move or die?

I chose move.

"Fine, have it your way." I turned and jogged off. "Merry Christmas!" I yelled over my shoulder, sounding for the entire world like an innocent carol singer.

This left Rachel to make her own way back and hunt for Tobias as she went home. It was pretty obvious that that was what she was going to do; I bet even that snail I almost stepped on could work that out.

Mentally shrugging, I pushed that out of my mind as I spotted Jake and Cassie ahead.

I had a best friend to embarrass.

In the nicest way possible of course.

**Tobias/Hawk**

I glared at my meadow, noticing every twitch of the frosted grass and hearing every muffled shift of the frosty wind. Which is why I instantly noticed the faintest shadow sweep across the long grass.

I jerked my head sky-ward and spotted a huge bald eagle hovering above my territory.

_My _territory.

_Tobias? _

A human voice came from nowhere but I ignored it, focussing on the huge raptor above me. I was not willing to share my kill.

_Tobias? I know it's you; this is your field. Please answer. _

There was that meaningless voice again. This time I took my glare from the giant bird of prey to scan the area; nothing.

Oh well. The voice was instantly forgotten.

Distractions, distractions.

Suddenly, the eagle began a slow dive, heading straight for me.

_Tobias? What's wrong?_

It was going to attack me!

_Tobias!_

I instantly flared up and screeched at it, making myself bigger and more formidable; if I couldn't scare this new enemy away, I was dead meat. It must have worked because the next second, the eagle swerved off and began to flap for altitude.

_Okay, maybe you're not Tobias…_

I felt something strange, a human mind suddenly twisting and turning deep within me but I forced it away, focusing on the matter at hand; I was starving.

The bald eagle was already forgotten.

Some time later (who cares how long? Time wasn't anything to me.) I saw it. A rat.

A _big _rat.

Kill. Prey. Food.

My whole body tensed to silence, pinpointing the rats muffled paws and twitching ears. It was tense, ready to run at the first sign of danger. After a few seconds it came a bit closer, sticking its nose into the air.

Almost…

Then the moment came. It relaxed just a tiny bit and began sniffing at something on ground level.

Now!

I practically fell out of my tree, flaring my wings at the last moment. Talons and beak hit warm flesh.

I was eating the rat before it let out its last breath.

Oh god, food! Warm, living food, filling me up to the brim.

I tore and swallowed, not wasting anything edible.

The hawk was satisfied and calmed, allowing a moment of satisfaction before it all began again; but in that moment, it allowed human relief to push its way forward. No pleasure, but relief.

I hopped back a bit, doing a quick preen to rid any blood.

I didn't know how long I would stay filled but for now… Ha! Take that bald-eagle! My kill!

I opened my wings, wanting to fly when it hit me. When the hawk consciousness had calmed enough for it to hit me like a sledge-hammer.

_Bald-eagle?!_

_Human voice?_

_Oh my God!_

_Rachel!_

I lost my concentration and fell back to the ground but I didn't care. Rachel had come to visit me! And I had… What had I done?

Screamed and flared, wanting her to leave me to my precious hunting?

Stupid hawk!

I began flapping again, a freak with a mission.

Catching a thermal, I rose sky-wards and flew in a random direction, searching. I had to find her, had to tell her… what?

I didn't actually know but that was a minor detail.

What was really bothering me was that I had a horrible feeling that she had known it was me, even as she flew away. That she knew the hawk had taken over.

"Weak." Taylor sneered at me, inside my head.

I didn't know what to think.

I think it was just dumb luck that I spotted her, walking between her house and Ax's scoop, in the shelter of some trees, clutching a bulging bag.

_Rachel! _I called, diving down to her.

She looked up, beautiful as always. "Hi Tobias." She said, a little blandly.

Which obviously meant something was wrong.

Gee, I wonder what?

I landed softly on a low branch, grateful that she at least stopped.

_Rachel, _I began, _I…_

There I stopped, still not sure what to say.

Okay, so maybe I _should _have worked that bit out.

Rachel however, instantly filled in the silence.

"We had a Christmas party at Ax's." She informed me, still with that bland look. "We wanted to surprise you and Ax, but he said he hadn't seen you since the meeting. I flew around to try and find you but…"

A pause.

Oh, man.

"… I couldn't find you."

There was an even longer pause.

What should I say? Sorry?

Suddenly her face cracked, and a look of angry sadness swept over it.

"You're so stubborn!" She almost shouted.

I guess it's true; I couldn't bear to ask for help with food even when I was starving or make myself surrender the fight and return fully human; which had lead to Rachel seeing me crumble as the hawk instincts took over.

…

This is _so_ awkward.

Just as bad as when she saw me eat road-kill.

I really paint a pretty picture for her, don't I? It's a wonder I don't have flocks of people wanting to go out with the half-boy half-hawk road-kill eater.

I kept my intense look down-ward, looking anywhere but at her. At that moment, I felt too guilty to look at her although part of me didn't even know why I felt so guilty. It wasn't my fault… right?

Rachel sighed and I looked to see her sit down below me, in a dry patch, resting her head in hands and placing her stuffed bag beside her.

_Sorry…_I said, not knowing what else I could say.

"Not you're not." She looked up at me, but she was now smiling, if a little sadly. "That's what I mean. What state do you have to be in before you come to one of us? We all would help."

I paused.

Is it me, or have there been way too many pauses in this conversation?

Then I flew down, landing in the dirt beside her.

_I am too sorry. _I said, pretending to sulk.

She laughed and stroked my head. "You're okay now?"

_Yeah, I'm fine._ I answered.

More or less.

We sat like that that for a few seconds, when Rachel suddenly frowned at her bag then jumped and turned to me, eyes bright.

"Tobias!" she shouted, making me jump.

_Jeeze, you scared the life out of me!_

"Sorry, but I just had the best idea!"

_What about? _

She grinned. "Do you want to come to my house tomorrow for Christmas dinner?"

O-o-o-okay… I wasn't expecting that.

_What? _I asked, blankly.

"My Mom cooks the best Christmas dinner and since you're not doing anything tomorrow, you should come for dinner!"

_But… are you sure? Wouldn't your family mind?_

"Course they'll let you come." She said, waving a dismissing hand.

_I don't know…_

"Why not?" She demanded, eyes flashing.

I wanted to go, why couldn't I just say yes?

_O.K., I'll go, if you're sure…_

Rachel rolled her eyes, standing up and cradling her bag. "Duh." She said, "And don't go and eat something beforehand, mom always cooks loads."

_Don't worry about that… _I said, a little dryly.

She shot me a look and turned, ready to walk off. "I'll meet you outside my house at about 1-ish then."

I felt this had all gone very well; from guilty pauses to going to Rachel's for Christmas dinner. I felt a bit giddy.

_It's a date. _I joked.

She looked over her shoulder and beamed.

**Ax**

I ran around my favourite field, enjoying my breakfast and trying to block certain thoughts from my head. It was 'Christmas' today and I found myself thinking of my own family; my mother and father, light-years away, and my war-hero brother Elfangor, who sacrificed himself for the greater good.

I missed them.

Breathing in the frozen air, I slowly made my way to a nearby stream, ready for my daily ritual.

Yesterday, I had asked Marco whether humans had a ritual on Christmas.

He said that people usually ran down the stairs screaming in the morning.

That's a very strange ritual if you ask me.

I reached the freezing trickling stream, thinking about those closest to me; my family, my friends and my _Shorm_ who fell into both categories. I was took a long, deep breath in and was about to begin when I spotted something making its way towards me.

I instantly tensed, ready to run or attack, watching myself walk delicately through the woods.

…

Hold on.

Watching _myself_?

I relaxed, realising who was visiting me.

_Hey Ax. Merry Christmas._ Tobias called. _Mind if I join you?_

_Of course not! I was about to begin the morning ritual._

Tobias trotted over, comfortable in Andalite morph. _Can I join in?_

_Just copy me._

He stood beside me. Occasionally, Tobias joined in with my morning and evening rituals; I suppose it was the closest thing to a family thing we do.

_From the water that gave birth to us_, I said, lifting one fore hoof into the stream.

_From the water that gave birth to us_, Tobias repeated.

_From the grass that feeds us, _I now crushed some grass under the same hoof.

_From the grass that feeds us,_

_For the freedom that unites us. _

_For the freedom that unites us._

_We rise to the stars._

_We rise to the stars._

_Freedom is my only cause. Duty to the people, my only guide. Obedience to my prince, my only glory._

_Freedom is my only cause. Duty to the people, my only guide. Obedience to my prince, my only glory._

_The destruction of my enemies, my most solemn vow._

_The destruction of my enemies, my most solemn vow._

_I, Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill, Andalite warrior-cadet, offer my life._

_I, Tobias, erm… _He paused. _Er… Animorph, offer my life._

I pressed my blade against my throat and watched as he carefully did the same. I wondered whether Tobias had usually participated in Marco' strange Christmas ritual.

_It's a pity we don't have any stairs._ I mused.

Tobias turned and stared at me like I was crazy.

_Stairs, right… This may seem like a strange question Ax-man, but why do we want stairs?_

I told him what Marco had revealed to me. When I finished, Tobias started laughing and carried on for quite a while.

_Oh yeah. Stairs. Darn. _He laughed. _Maybe we could find some lying around here somewhere._

_I do not think… oh, that was sarcasm._

_Yeah. _Tobias was still laughing quietly. _Yeah, that was sarcasm._

I found this a bit strange; it must not be a very popular ritual because I was taught to be honourable about my rituals. Well, openly anyway.

_Did you not perform this 'Christmas' ritual then?_

Tobias stopped chuckling.

_No. No not really Ax-man. _He said, before changing the subject. _Say Ax, do you think I could borrow some of your clothes?_

_Clothes? You mean your human artificial skin?_

_Yeah, the stuff in Cassie's barn. I'm going to Rachel's later. _He seemed quite proud about that.

_Of course; It's yours too. _I pointed out.

I don't see the need for artificial skin and hooves. On days like today it is understandable; unlike many other mammals on the planet, humans have no fur to keep them warm. But on hot summer days?

It's just weird.

Tobias shrugged. _Yeah well, it was yours first._

He was about to start demorphing when I remembered something which was still a puzzle to me.

_Tobias? _

Time for a question that had been bugging me for ages.

_Yeah Ax-man?_

Here it goes.

I hope it isn't offending.

_What is the meaning of the 'boxing day'?_

Tobias tilted head, frowning in the way we Andalites do.

_I…I don't know… For celebrating… boxes?_

…

I told you Humans were weird.

**Rachel**

"Mom, what is _that_?"

I peered into a plastic tub, wrinkling my nose at this big blob of green bitty stuff, which smelled like cabbage; out of place compared to the rest of the traditional Christmas grub.

"Have you been experimenting again?"

She sent me a dirty look before stuffing the trifle into the fridge.

"Ha ha." She said. "And no. Grandma sent that over."

"Grandma _cooks_?"

"Well, she used to cook some excellent pancakes." She walked over and glanced at the … _stuff _… in the tub. "Though it does smell a bit off. I couldn't just give it back to her though could I?"

I rolled my eyes; last time grandma cooked, I swear I saw spots the rest of the day.

"Mom, Tobias is coming." I reminded her. "I don't even know what that is."

She gave me one of those annoying _I'm-a-mom-so-I-am-all-knowing_ looks.

It wasn't my fault if I wanted to give Tobias a nice Christmas, was it? I had been tempted to lock Jordan and Sara in the cupboard with a few Barbie dolls to keep them out of the way, but somehow, I don't think Mom would have been all that pleased. Maybe she just would settle for me to burn whatever this big green blob was.

"It's sprout and pepper stuffing; It's _supposed _to be anyway." Mom informed me, then laughing at my horrified face. "Come on, it might taste better than it looks. Or sounds. Anyway, serve it up for me would you?"

"As long as I don't have to touch it…" I muttered.

I suddenly wondered how I, Xena warrior princess, destroyer and gloop-ifier of Taxxons, could be so put off by some strange 'stuffing'.

Maybe it's just Grandma's cooking.

I tenderly stuck my little finger into the concoction and sniffed it; it smelt like… no, I don't even know _what _it smelt like. Whatever it was, it was nasty.

I looked over my shoulder at Mom who was running out of the kitchen because Sara had started shouting.

I glanced at the clock; 12:55. Good enough for me.

"MOM!" I shouted, already grabbing my coat; escaping the stuffing from hell. "I'm going to see where Tobias is!"

I think she shouted something back but I was already outta there.

Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I jogged down the path and searched the road.

He wasn't here yet.

Darn.

Aware that Mom was probably checking what I was doing, I walked confidently down the road until I was out of sight of the house. Then I stopped and looked around again, already bored of waiting.

It was frosty, not cold enough for snow but still rather picturesque; frost lined every surface and dew covered ice sparkled in the low winter sun. Stamping my feet to keep warm, I glanced at my bag; inside was presents we had all planned on giving Tobias yesterday but obviously, we didn't get the chance so I brought them with me.

Then someone caught my eye, coming round the far corner and looking round as though he only had half an idea where he was going.

Well, I suppose it looks different from the ground.

"Tobias!" I called, waving and walking over.

He squinted for a second before smiling and jogging over to me; he has this thing about his eyes. I guess compared to a hawk, humans are half blind which gives Tobias this urge to squint every now and again.

"Hi! I have a surprise for you!" I announced, grabbing his arm and dragging him backward to a bench.

He stumbled back a bit then quickly span round and stepped in sync with me. "Hello to you too." Tobias commented his face now blank as usual. "And I thought Christmas dinner _was _the surprise."

"I asked you to come, so that's not really a surprise is it?" I replied giving him a 'duh' look and sitting down.

"It counted as a surprise when you asked me."

"No, it didn't."

He smiled; Ok, I'm not one of those corny romantics who, whenever their boy/girlfriend smiles, says '_it's like a little piece of heaven_'; I mean give me a break.… But Tobias does have a cute smile. I think it's because I hardly ever see it; its little things like that that sometimes bothers me. He's been a hawk so long he's forgotten how to be human.

I dumped my bag on his lap with a flourish. "Your Christmas presents." I said smugly.

"My what?"

I frowned at him. His face - of course - revealed nothing but I think he was genuinely surprised as his he looked down at the rucksack; he seemed to notice what he was doing because he suddenly said: "But I can't get you anything. You shouldn't have gotten me anything."

I wasn't sure if that was entirely the matter but decided to leave it.

"You know, Tobias, You're the only one I know who can moan about getting presents." I retorted, leaning over to pull one out of the bag; he needed a little push. "Anyway, they're from all of us. _This one_ is from me and Cassie."

He paused but then carefully began opening it, as though afraid it would break. When he saw what it was, he laughed.

"You _and _Cassie got this?"

"Well, I chose it, but Cassie helped pay and sent her love."

It was a leather jacket that I had seen in the sale not long ago that I knew Tobias would _kill_. (A.N. Yeah, so maybe it's the same one Tobias wears in the show but what can I say? He does kill it after all. XD)

"It's great." He assured me, pulling it on; I'm not surprised, he was only wearing a dark purple shirt and jeans so he must have been freezing.

"I knew you'd kill it." I told him smugly, looking him over.

After thanking me a few times, he opened what Jake and Marco had got him; Marco had bought a load of sugar mice. (Ha. Ha. I must remember to congratulate Marco on his comic genius.) Jake however, had bought him the safe present. Chocolate.

"Remind me to thank them when I next see them." Tobias said, nibbling on a bit of chocolate. "I haven't had chocolate in ages; I feel like Ax."

"Just don't run around screaming 'greas-suh' and you'll be fine." I retorted, "Come on, I bet Christmas dinner's all ready for us!"

He nodded but then paused and looked down at the gifts.

"What?"

"These are great, and I never even expected you to get anything but… do you think…?"

I suddenly got it, my mood suddenly dropping an inch.

"I'll bring them to Ax's scoop for you." I promised.

He nodded again, a bit uncomfortable.

I was too.

See, for a moment, I had forgotten he had no home to keep things like gifts.

Silly me.

To my surprise, it was Tobias who broke the silence.

"Well, we don't want to keep your mom waiting." He said standing and helping me up.

…………………………..

_Blink, expression, blink, expression, blink, expression…_

You could practically see the little reminders zooming round Tobias's head as he blinked at unnaturally regular intervals and smiled lightly at whoever spoke to him.

He forgot once; when he staring at the Christmas spread with a kind of awe and thanked Mom with this un-blinking, weirdly blank stare. I think Mom was a little freaked, so I quickly coughed and dug my elbow into his arm. He jumped, blinked a few times and quickly asked for a roast potato.

Real smooth.

The food was great, though I noticed that no-one seemed to be touching the mysterious stuffing. Tobias seemed to be enjoying himself, sampling almost everything and mostly just taking in the whole atmosphere; speaking quietly and laughing easily; it's weird, but I haven't seem him like this that much before.

I mean I have, but not that often. He was just relaxed and content.

That is until mom felt a stupid need to drill him about where he comes from and what school he goes to and all that sort of rubbish. He grew uncomfortable and muttered this made-up story that I guessed he had rehearsed.

Trying to spare him, I launched into this huge and meaningless conversation with Mom about what I was going to buy with all my Christmas money. He seemed grateful but started glancing at the clock every few minutes after that, as though suddenly reminded that he was on a time limit.

God, parents can be _so _annoying.

"Tobias?" Jordan asked later, in this innocent little voice which I knew meant trouble. "Would you like some stuffing?"

"Sure-" Tobias started.

"Jordan! That's evil." I laughed, slightly torn.

"Err… why?" Tobias looked from me to Jordan, confused.

"Grandma made this stuffing." Jordan.

"I thought grandparents were supposed to be good at cooking?"

"Not this one. Dare you to have some!"

Tobias put this bemused expression on his face, cornered even though he didn't know it, and stretched out a hand.

"Sure."

I shook my head.

We all stared as he forked some of it onto his last bit of turkey and crammed in all together. He was about to eat it when he looked up and saw all of us.

"Are you going to stare at me while I eat this?" He asked, looking at me.

"Grandma's cooking is like the eighth wonder of the world." I snorted. "And you're brave enough to _eat it_. So yes, I'm here to make sure you don't die in the attempt."

"Grandma made sprout jelly once." Jordan informed Tobias; she seemed to have taken a strange liking to him.

He laughed then put it in his mouth.

He swallowed it.

Sara caused a bit of a distraction by screaming that she wanted someone to pull a cracker with her but soon everyone was looking at Tobias again when he started choking.

"Oh dear…" Mom muttered as I thumped him on the back.

He managed to swallow it, eyes watering, and grabbed his drink, downing it in one.

"See? Even you can't eat it." I laughed, as he refilled his glass.

"I think I'll take the rodent…" He muttered under his breath so only I could hear.

I laughed again and Mom sent me a really weird look.

What did _I_ do?

**Tobias**

Whoever created Barbie's was an idiot.

I mean, how are you even supposed to get that huge spidery hand through a tiny little sleeve?

It was impossible!

I tried to get Sara's doll's jacket on for a full minute before Rachel came to my rescue and got it on in three seconds flat.

"You're amazing." I marvelled.

"I'm a girl of many talents." She replied, laughing.

I had already re-morphed once, hiding behind a locked door and a shower curtain. Then after pudding (The sensation of sugar and cold food was very strange compared to my usual diet. I didn't have much Christmas pudding, too intent on the miracle that is ice-cream) I had been put through a full tour of Sara and Jordan's Christmas presents.

I didn't know what half of them were for but tried to look in awe at each present anyway.

_Blink, expression, blink, expression, blink, expression _I reminded myself.

I saw Rachel look over at the wall clock then turn back to Sara. Deciding to look for myself, I found I only had 15 minutes left.

I had to go.

Jordan chose then to walk towards me with an armful of crackers and a huge grin.

"I've got to go now," I told her, remembering to blink.

I noticed Rachel sigh before telling Jordan to play with Sara.

"Bye Tobias." Jordan smiled up at me, to which I waved feebly, unsure what to do.

I followed Rachel to the kitchen, where her Mom was talking sternly on her mobile, tapping a pen against the table top.

"Well tell him he'll have to sort out the documents himself! He can't go around blaming us…"

"Mom," Rachel hissed, "I'm seeing Tobias out."

"Give me second, Bill." She put her hand over the receiver. "Goodbye Tobias, come again soon won't you?" I made a half-shrug half-smile sort of gesture in return. _Blink, expression… _"And come straight back, Rachel. Your cousin's coming round for a bit later."

Only replying with a dramatic roll of her sparkling eyes, Rachel steered me out, keen to be away from her family.

"They seem nice." I said once we were back in the cold, rubbing my eye; I think I had blinked too much.

"Well, Duh." She smirked. "You're a visitor, you should hear them normally."

We walked to a small green nearby, finding some trees for me to de-morph in. I stuffed my hands in my pockets as we walked and talked, wondering whether I should hold her hand. It seemed like the scene for it, but she was busy lengthening the strap of her side bag so I left it.

Then she let her hands to fall to her sides.

Oh, man…

"What time is it?" I asked when we reached a clump of trees, panicking slightly.

And not about the time.

"You have five minutes."

"Oh. I better-"

"One more minute." She looked at me. "Yeah?"

I nodded and smiled.

Then I took her hand.

She smiled happily, and then leaned closer to me, sighing.

"You know, sometimes, this situation really sucks."

"It sure does." I replied, resting my head in her beautiful hair.

We stood together, her leaning her head on my shoulder, I leaning my head against hers, for several moments. Not long enough.

Every second was bliss and agony at the same time.

"I've got to-"

"Yeah, I know."

We moved into denser trees, Rachel sticking with me.

It's a weird feeling, loving someone, knowing that you care about that one person more than anything. But amazingly wonderful if they love you back.

Our clasped hands tightened.

I looked into her eyes and as mine turned from a soft brown to an intense molten golden-brown, and I saw tears dusting her eyes that I hadn't noticed before.

"Merry Christmas, Tobias." Rachel murmured, holding my hand until I had no hand to hold.

* * *

**Awww, the Hawk Shaped Fluff! XD Hope you liked reading it, Writing for Animorphs is fun :D Please Review, Everyone who does get a chocolate cookie!! **


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